No, I don’t want the house to fall down but I’m huffing and puffing so you get the message that I’m not happy and want you to leave! Clearly you’ve heard that Hedgehog Manor has a reputation for good food located in a hidden garden setting. What about the one table policy in mid July?
Can you not tell by my little dance and the very vocal sounds I am making that I’m more than a bit bothered here? This is my regular slot and you just keep eating my supper and ignoring me. Wait a minute… don’t you advance towards me forcing me into a corner!
You should know that the owners of Hedgehog Manor have a microphone with their camera surveillance system and are hearing as well as seeing all of this. Now, we don’t want this establishment closed due to altercations with diners do we?
Ok, so I’ll take the first step and move out of my corner and stop huffing and puffing so you can leave the premises knowing you are welcome to return when I have vacated my table. Come on now, please leave. I’m being quiet now and have been reasonably patient.
I don’t much care for your intimidation tactics and stop moving the table about if you don’t mind or we will both be asked to leave. I’m quietly waiting again. I see, so you aren’t interested in drinking the water available in another corner but just in moving me in the direction of the exit.
I’ll wait outside for you to leave then? I’m still not happy with you so you’ll hear my huffing and puffing as you dine inside. You would have a quieter more relaxed dining experience if you were to come back later - does that not sound more appealing?
Hedgehog Manor’s camera surveillance didn’t capture you leaving shortly after but the owners (who live nearby) put on outside lighting and took a video camera to a house window to record your behaviour. You really didn’t need to follow me over to the alfresco buffet below the bird feeders.
The owners can’t hear me huffing and puffing from inside but they can see my body shaking and can see I’m still a very bothered hedgehog. I give in for now… I’m leaving the garden… I’ll be back ;-)
Hedgehog thanks go to the owners of Hedgehog Manor for providing a second table shortly after this incident. Experiments in table layout have resulted in two of us being able to eat at the same sitting without the need for noisy huffing and puffing. This is a good result especially now in October as we need to feed up to a healthy weight of 600g for our hibernation.
This post was published by Shirley for shirls gardenwatch in October 2014.